This is a clip from my feature film B-Movie, due for release in late 2024.
The Jefferson family was in for a surprise when they signed up for what they thought was a home makeover reality show, but it turned out to be the worst sitcom idea ever. They moved into a creepy old mansion, filled with secret passages, eerie sounds, and a persistent smell of cabbage. The catch? Only one could leave alive.
Greg Jefferson, the dad, was convinced this was a brilliant opportunity. “Think of the exposure, Karen! We’ll be famous!” he exclaimed. Karen, his wine-loving wife, rolled her eyes and took a long sip from her glass. “Greg, this is the worst sitcom idea ever.”
Their teenage son, Jake, with his headphones permanently glued to his ears, barely noticed the oddities around him. Meanwhile, little Lily, the curious eight-year-old, was already poking around the dusty corners of their new haunted home.
The first night was a disaster. As they settled in, the house began to play its tricks. Greg was the first victim. While unpacking, he stumbled upon a bookcase that rotated, trapping him in a dark, secret room. His muffled cries for help echoed through the walls, but the family assumed he was just messing around.
“Where’s Dad?” Jake asked, barely looking up from his phone. “Probably lost in his own worst sitcom idea ever,” Karen replied, flipping through a vintage cookbook she found. “Who needs a kitchen when you have ghost chefs?”
Suddenly, the lights flickered, and the chandelier in the dining room began to swing ominously. “Did anyone order a haunted chandelier?” Karen quipped, as she poured herself another glass of wine.
Jake, attempting to impress his online followers, decided to livestream the haunted house experience. “Welcome to the worst sitcom idea ever, folks! Let’s see if we can find a ghost… or my dad!” As he wandered through the halls, the signal cut out, leaving his viewers on a cliffhanger.
Meanwhile, Lily, who had found an old Ouija board, was in the living room attempting to communicate with the spirits. “Is anyone there?” she asked innocently. The planchette moved on its own, spelling out: “YES. RUN.” Lily giggled. “Ghosts are funny!”
Hours later, Greg managed to escape the secret room, looking disheveled and holding an ancient, dusty sword he found. “I think I found the key to our survival!” he announced dramatically. “Great,” Karen said, not looking up from her wine. “Now all we need is a dragon.”
As the night wore on, the family realized the house had a twisted sense of humor. Every room had a new prank waiting for them. From whoopee cushions that screamed when sat upon to mirrors that showed exaggerated, clown-like reflections, it was clear: this truly was the worst sitcom idea ever.
The final straw came when they discovered a note in the kitchen, written in what appeared to be tomato sauce: “Only one can leave alive.” Greg, ever the optimist, decided to make a game out of it. “Okay, family! Let’s play the worst sitcom idea ever’s version of Survivor!”
They all gathered in the living room, ready to compete. But instead of cutthroat challenges, they ended up in a series of ridiculous, slapstick games. They tried to balance on rolling barrels, wrestle with oversized rubber chickens, and solve puzzles that made no sense. All the while, the house seemed to chuckle around them.
In the end, it was Lily’s innocence that saved them. She made the house laugh by drawing silly faces on all the portraits in the hallway. The mansion, appreciating the humor, decided to let them all go, revealing that it was all part of the show’s grand plan.
As they stumbled out into the daylight, disheveled but alive, Greg sighed, “Well, that was an adventure.” Karen nodded, “Next time, let’s just stick to normal home renovations.”
Jake checked his phone, “At least we went viral. Everyone thinks it’s the worst sitcom idea ever, but they love it.”
Lily skipped ahead, holding her Ouija board. “Can we come back next week?”
And so, the Jeffersons survived the worst sitcom idea ever, proving that sometimes, the worst ideas make for the best stories.
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