Brian Croucher The full interview

2:59 in in prison to being an actor? What what did something happen to you in prison? Did some one talk to you, touch you? What what happened? happened to me in 6 months that I didn't want ever to happen again, so I thought I don't want to be a recidivist. That's the right word, isn't it? That's a person who repeats Yeah. the the uh the action and uh returns to prison. I didn't want to return to prison ever again. It was a short, sharp shock as a delinquent, so uh I thought I better cuz everything happens in the evening with the youth. They go to work in the daytime. In my day, we could get a job. Uh we had to work, you come out in the evening, and you've got a scooter, and you race about making noise, looking for women, Uh so were you

3:42 a mod or a rocker? Is that kind of a Oh, yeah, I was a mod. I was a mod. A mod. Is that a guy with a big head? Listen, have you not studied your history, Kevin? rode scooters. They didn't ride Norton 500s, they were rockers. Rockers. Yeah. Okay. Uh so anyway, uh Yeah, so in the evenings uh I thought I won't go and get into trouble, I'll go to evening classes, and uh a friend of mine's girlfriend was going to the Bow Institute in London, and uh studying drama, and so I went mainly to meet a different sort of woman. What kind of woman? An intelligent woman. I like intelligent They they don't need to have a wonderful or a beautiful face, they just need to be intelligent.

4:29 But that woman isn't is is is all right, Well, you can get a blow-up doll for that, Kevin, you know? question now. What What would you use a dumb woman for then? Um pretty same thing I'd use a blow-up doll for, in all Absolutely. Well, we won't go there. Um but anyway, so I went to evening uh met somebody, suggested I took up drama, had a little as it were bent for And uh but I didn't straight away become an actor, I I did uh stage management. I did a stage management course, but we went on into drama classes, and I thought to myself, "I can do this. Get a job, get a was the point?

5:12 What was the point where you thought, "I can actually do this" instead of like, you know, just being behind the stage? Well, looking at the other looking at the other people who were on the acting course, I thought, "Well, I'm as good as them. I could, you Uh there was Brian Cox, Martin Shaw, people like that. Were all on your course? Yeah, they were all they were the year above. Yeah. Uh and I was the I was the stage management, and course there's nothing to stage manage when you first go to to drama school, so you go into the classes to learn what the actors are learning, and you know. So yeah, I thought, "I can do this." And uh uh I talked to a few people, learned a couple of audition pieces, and boom, I went to LAMDA. Do you still remember your your

5:54 first audition piece? Yeah. Uh "Woe, woe for England, not a whip for me." Not bad. Could have been a bit better. like to show you this. Show me. What's going on? There we are. Look, it's touching the 10. Yeah. That's 10. And then nine. 19. this? 27. out of how much? What's the maximum And that one? Oh, and the seven. 40. You've got 40. So 40 out of 50 on your first attempt. Is that good? Superb. Superb. Yeah, I would normally say on a a 1-hour session with a client, anything over 25 within the complete hour is a good a good result.

6:44 So to shoot a 40 within your first 10 minutes it is fantastic. Really is. Are you picturing anyone being there right now? Is that why you're so good? Anyone in your acting career? Are they in your mentally in your head right there? Well, they were some years back, but I I don't go there now. I'm I'm quite happy talking to people in the pub with a pint. I I don't uh fantasize about killing our friends. I just got parts I wanted. I was about your red coat. You were a red coat. I was about your age, yeah. with many guests. That's what they all do, isn't it? Uh how do you know that? Well, because I've been to Butlins and slept with a red coat. Oh, oh. That's great. Yeah. Yeah, but it wasn't Yeah, okay.

7:29 Uh yes, now apparently you you do. You've got to help the guests at Butlins in as many ways as they say, "Which way is it to the uh the um the uh Crazy Horse Saloon?" It's way to my saloon. Yeah, yes. Now you've got to It's 5 past 10. recognize you from EastEnders. Did she? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was like, "Oh, it's him from that EastEnders thing." You were in that for what? 2, 3 years? Uh yeah, a couple of years. Yeah, a couple of years. And then I went off in the taxi to buy a crossbow and arrows and so that is to shoot the producer. annoying have to learn having to learn new lines almost every other day?

8:17 Cuz it's a it's a constant shoot, isn't it? It's just a Well, not not if the if the lines are well written, and if if they run to your character's state of mind, and then it's it's easy. But of course, you have to remember lines, and that's the thing about remembering lines is not remembering the words, it's remembering the thoughts that go with the words. The thoughts are more important. So if you're saying, "I love you," you've got to know who you're saying it to, whether you mean it, uh how loud you say it, because she's just leaving in a taxi. "I love you." Um if she's ever going to come back.

9:01 "I love you." You know. "I love you." That's proper acting that is, right there. Yeah, that's Robin Hood, that was. That's the real thing, that is. Maid Marian up there. Last day EastEnders, were there tears? Were you happy to be it wasn't a joyful experience towards the end. Oh, how come? Uh But you were working with greats, weren't you? Like uh Wendy Richard, she was there when you were there. Tell you a story about Wendy Richard. Go on then. Wendy Richard, she said to me one day, she said, have you have you been working with this new young director?" I said, "Yeah." She said, "What do you reckon?" I said, "Well, I'm I've not really worked with him, not not seriously." She said, "Do you know what he said to me today?" I said, "No, Wendy.

9:47 So what did he say to you?" She said, "He said to me, 'I think what you're thinking in this' I said, "Hold on, hold on a minute, hold on there, whatever your name is. I've been doing this show now for 25 years without a thought in my head. Don't you start putting one in there True story that. That's very funny. Legend, Wendy Richard. Legend. Yeah, see if I can be a legend now and get it in the tin. So, what happened to was then then you just what started going off it? You were given crappy story lines. Well, yeah, you you given crappy story lines and then well, the the the main thing is uh is finding that uh you're leaving by uh somebody pointing out in the News of the World on the Sunday before the producer asked you into their office.

10:35 So Uh so, it was in the papers before you even knew about it. That's crap. That's funny crap. So leave? Do you even say anything? Do you Well, you I just showed you a picture of bow and arrow. Yeah. It works like this. It works like a writer has an idea. Yeah. He he takes it to a producer. Yeah. And the producer commissions it. Yeah. And then it's accepted and then the producer gets a director. And the director then has ideas about the characters. He gets a casting director.

11:20 And the casting director then has to con- contact your agent. So, you're five five steps away from the orig- the original piece of work. where's the slimy journalist in his hand? It must be up here uh They're all behind the actor here. They never come in front of the actor. And there's the actor on the little finger. So, you're not in control of it. Once the writer gives it to the producer, he's not in control of it. The producer gives it to they're not in control of it. The casting director is not in control of it cuz at the end the director wants he says, "I want him as opposed to him." So, you know Yeah, but and on on what finger does the paper find out? That's what I want to know. Where What they say they found out before you even knew. That

12:02 sucks. I don't know. Got to pull this one out here. And then you hold it like that. Yeah. Cuz this is my instructor. I've got a personal instructor now. I'm not in a club and just got a personal instructor his name is Carl. Uh-huh. Taught me everything I know today. Yeah, I like quite quickly I'm surprised. What was that last question? Oh, on what on what finger on what stage of the process did the paper find out? Cuz they the story was being run before you even got told. Well, it was being written I suppose. I'll tell you what though. This is what I think of journalists. I was in a theater pub in London.

12:47 Uh the Old Red Lion in Islington and uh pee. Uh-huh. Well, cuz if I was in a cubicle I wouldn't. And then who should come up to but a journalist from the News of the World again. They were always looking. They were always sniffing around. He was having a pee. In the in the urinals having a little sniff. Yeah, and he went, "Oh, Brian, how are you?" I don't know if he followed me in there or what. Said "Anything happening?" Meaning do you want to tell me anything And I thought, yeah, it's just about where we meet journalists in the toilet. One of the most interesting things that stood out was uh a Sontaran movie put together by Doctor Who fans.

13:30 Not only cuz I've never heard of it, but also because it it's got like close to seven on IMDb which is really flipping good for a B movie. It's probably the highest rating I've ever seen for like a B movie before. Really? Yeah. Was it because I was in it I wonder? I don't know. What did you do in that movie? Were you the Sontaran? Did you kill the Sontaran? No, yeah, I killed the Sontaran. Uh how do you you kill a Sontaran not with a crossbow, but with isn't it? On the chest, isn't it? A Killed one with a hammer?