Interviews · 19 October 2022
Tim Vine The full interview
Tim Vine interviewed by Kevin Durham, 19 October 2022. 4m 27s on tape.
Comedian Tim Vine talks about preferring shorter jokes. One of my very first interviews here, done years ago, Tim Vine's stand-up act consists primarily of a series of quick-fire one-liners and puns, along with silly songs and a bagful of props. Tim Vine and a security guard from his office job in Croydon started doing open mic nights as a hobby. During 1991, Tim Vine regularly honed his routine at the Comedy Café in London, adding other clubs throughout 1992. He came second in the Hackney Empire New Act competition in 1993. Vine quit his job to go on tour as a support act for Boothby Graffoe, who later wrote additional material for The Sketch Show. Vine became a regular on the London comedy circuit by 1994, trying a variety of comedy styles. He realised one-liners were a good way forward after the audience's positive reaction to his joke: "So I went to the doctors. He said, 'You've got hypochondria'. I said, 'Not that as well!'" Vine built up this repertoire, before making his first TV appearance on BBC One's Pebble Mill.
What's on the tape
A transcript, made by machine from the audio and tidied up. It gets names and the odd word wrong, so treat it as a way to find the bit you want rather than as a quotation. Every timestamp jumps to that moment in the video.
0:01 Black beauty is a dark horse then the tour after that was going velcro what a rip-off then the tour after that I was saying three cheers for rap music. Hip-hop now on this one I am saying I was on a train bloke came on with his knees pointing together I said ricketts please so I mean it's just you change it right yeah. All right cool and with your short jokes then short checks let them get out there quick you don't really have that many long jokes dude they're all like very quick to the point like bam bang bang like machine. Gun fighter they are really yeah and there's a reason for that um I uh yeah I just I I find long jokes slightly worry me. You know when people tell me jokes sometimes they go I've got a joke for you and uh I always say would you give me the last bit of it because sometimes.
0:41 Well this guy walks into a pub and he says hello my name's brian do you like my horse and you think to say come on get on with it you know it ends. Up with um you know. That's why you shouldn't buy a whiskey off a um physician or something you know you just get to the end I was fine work. Someone tells me jokes I'm better telling them than I am listening to us so you switch off of the long ones fun exactly yes. At ferry you don't leave much room from new york well I do I do I leave a little bit of room for maneuver um there's always a bit of space between. You know between me and the wings so I can walk backwards and forwards a bit you know but I try and um a little bit of a maneuver.
1:21 Thing there um I try well I try and sort of mix it up a bit um occasionally I deliberately or at least if I stumble. Over something I don't mind if things go wrong there's probably if something goes wrong I'm quite happy for that to happen if I always say to the sound. Man in the venues I go to I say listen when I've given them the cues I say look don't worry about it matches is very for if it goes wrong it'll only improve. It and what what's the worst time it's ever gone wrong has it ever gone like really drastically wrong well not really because like I said it goes wrong it just makes just more fun in games you know because the the fact is I I'm the idiot in my act. So something so something goes wrong it just underlines. See what I mean I really am an idiot you know so so I if I was doing check off or something that might be a worry.
2:01 Now I don't think I've ever seen a stand-up comedian have you not uh well I've seen lots but all right sorry I stopped you right. Yeah I haven't seen one that enjoys telling jokes so much because at the moment you get like a lot of observational comedy yeah yeah comics. Like michael mcintyre michael mcintyre yeah he hardly does any jokes whatsoever it's all like observational but you really enjoy it so I do yeah it's jokes. Is joke telling you your first love and your biggest passion. Well I sometimes wish that I um I forgot how good the scenery was looking at this you can't see this but look at the scenery. In that direction lovely yeah missing out a lot yeah. You know I had to film it well not as film scene there's a reason for that you know you see this out of context.
Read the rest of the transcript3 more
2:41 The whole production will make no sense at all um what was the question uh so joke telling yes I do like it and I I slightly. Wish sometimes that I did have more of an observational sort of uh styling like michael mcintyre because then you could um you can it seems. Can we elongate you know come up with a routine it's straight in with three minutes you know I come up with a joke there's three seconds. You know well I think that that's what makes you unique don't think you should try and do something different no well maybe that's true yeah no I'm not trying to do anything different although like I say sometimes. I let things slightly fall apart you know deliberately deliberately yeah sort of one but I let I don't mind if it falls apart as we said earlier. We haven't got time to repeat the same.
3:20 Cool so we've got some rapid fire questions for you too I like rapid fire questions are you ready go click this line doctor doctor who are you I feel like a pair of curtains. Yes um grape fine or jeremy fine jeremy Vine every time jeremy final mister tone wayne jeremy Vine every time rubber chicken or christmas turkey turkey. Michael mcintyre or christmas pudding christmas pudding actually. Bashful grumpy or sneezy it's amazing I'll tell you why the guy who's playing sniffly in in this production is hilarious guy called craig. And so uh he's become sort of my favorite sort of dwarf character onwards and upwards last one sneezy or sleazy sneezy easy not sleazy yeah. And that's our our final uh our final question so Tim have you got any brilliant jokes that you can end your section with yes I have can you end the section.
4:09 With it obviously I actually do I think about have I got any well I have um well do you know I was um uh I went to a football. Match in japan in the end they started doing martial arts I said to bloke next to me I said what's going on he said there's two minutes of injury time.
