Interviews · 7 June 2019
Bill Bailey The time he nearly quit comedy
Bill Bailey interviewed by Kevin Durham, 7 June 2019. 6m 04s on tape.
In this Bill Bailey interview clip, Bill Bailey explains why he nearly quit comedy for a sales job. This is a clip of our online show Celebs Doing Stuff That They Like, the online interview show where we interview celebrities while doing something that they enjoy. If you liked this Bill Bailey Interview where he talks about nearly quitting comedy for telesales then please leave me a comment in the comment box below. If you didn't like this Bill Bailey interview then please also leave me some feedback.
What's on the tape
A transcript, made by machine from the audio and tidied up. It gets names and the odd word wrong, so treat it as a way to find the bit you want rather than as a quotation. Every timestamp jumps to that moment in the video.
0:01 Explains why nearly quick comedy for Teddy sounds please subscribe I do comedy and celebrity interviews and hit about find out when I release new videos. And that bug that he mentioned I think Nene wore off at one point didn't it in was at the fringe in 94 he did a show. And one person turned up and it was just one comedian yes and you were considering doing telesales so what was it that made you not want. To do that was it thought of like doing kitchens and selling kitchens two old women on the phone was that enough to keep you from doing. That kitchens ebooks yeah it was I guess. That you yeah I think you have those experiences and they they are quite chastening because you know we'd gone up there with high hopes for a show and there was we didn't. Get an audience I think that's probably worse than than even getting bad reviews and I think you know at least then you're getting noticed I mean we just know.
1:01 One completely nope and that wasn't for the whole run was it it was it was mostly run and it was one there was one show yeah when when it was a communal. Nick Holland and it was just him in the audience yeah and he just said he just let's you know enjoy yourselves just do the show and we made. Sure him were like yeah yeah it's you know what we feel a bit uncomfortable yeah this is Sherlock made myself and showing up we did my show rock. But then we did we did do the show after enema but we did it in a few places a few art centers being performed it at Gaston. Barry so and did have a sort of life beyond Beyond the Fringe. But yes it was it was tough because you know quite poverty in the ocean you know you lose a lot of money he put on a big show.
1:49 Costs money and you have to find accommodation and advertising and posters and leaflets and dadada and so we ended up working off all the debt had to do gigs and at that point yes. He said you started thinking where are we going with this you know what where am I going with this so was it that was it working. Off the debt was that the thing that was tight but you were yeah I think so because you know when when you're that stage and you you find it you know it's difficult. To get gigs if you're not a known act or name and you have to do trial acts you know so you have to go to a club and you do two or three minutes and then if it works well they so look at the books and go well we might. Be able to fit you in in six months or three months whatever but that's not gonna pay the bills and so you need to find.
2:29 A bit of a short-term thing to kind of keep them key lights on ever been paid by Tony sells I don't know it was just some it was some ad. Job that was advertised paper and I just thought well I'll give it a go yeah and I know it was it was utterly surreal like some strange. Being in a play like one of those like Glengarry Glen Ross or something you know where they said people have encouraged to just you know sell. And then if they super make a sale they bring a Bill I did you actually do a shift did you actually do some tell yourself oh yeah yeah. Yeah right and was it your selling I was telling it was sis it was a it's completely. Unrecognizable unsellable tedious publication the international development review of management review as I was like it was just so dense and so arcane this thing was only.
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3:22 Sold to company directors and things like that and it was just impossible to enthuse about anything cause it was so tedious you know new trucks. Yeah I'm interested doing dishes and you just feel yourself like dying right oh yeah boredom just saying the words eventually I think I sold a half page. To the wielded Portuguese hotel you he didn't even know what he was buying he didn't know and then I was got sacked in the end because I refused. To wear a tie I kept saying but it's on the phone they can't see it yeah they can't see you of what they can hear. The rustle of the tie and the bow no it was a strange character that this office manager that required everyone to be smart and he thought this I'm not wearing. A tie would that would you know translate into your manner on the telephone and I couldn't I couldn't see that personally so didn't work out no I can.
4:10 Relate I did a bit attendee sales I sold accountancy books it was called um FL ma'am I think it's not random it was called FL memo I've. Got really bored really quick so I put on this old man voice unab tended to be the owner of this comb honey and I pretended. That my wife is having an affair so I said hello I'm from a fowl memo and people took pity on me and it worked out I was the top I was in the top three salespeople. In a group of about 280 see that's the thing you see I should just don't lied something about the piano it does door. Slamming yeah yeah idea what I remember that that hit me they gave you this sort of this form and it was like you know a kind of script. That you had to stick to and then and all these different answers you'd then would send you off in a different direction so it's like I interested.
4:57 In advertising yes oh we go that way no yes yes yeah Toyota page 52 oh you own it okay and so I went down all these things and I was doing this and there was a guy next to me he like this really needs no flight very funny. Monotone voice like this yes I've seen it and he was doing this deal for a bit and then he stopped and he went and he scanned. The script and he couldn't find anything you know. Looked quite he's shaken by it and I said what happened there and you just went oh I was in the middle of script and then somebody said excuse. Me it's just a robot. And he got no but it was it was like one of those jobs I guess you know you do from time to time that's great. Tick heavens channels what you've subscribed.
5:57 We need you to subscribe. You don't know we don't he does.
